


gifts & lists & bees

by zeitgeistofnow



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gay Jake, M/M, and his primary love language is gifts!, bi rich, but not really i just disregarded some of the timeline, jake is allergic to eggs now, look i headcanon him as pan but wrote him as gay so here we are, vaugely au?, which rich knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 09:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeitgeistofnow/pseuds/zeitgeistofnow
Summary: jake writes lists- to do lists and idea lists and lists to get his thoughts down on paper so that they're not bouncing around his head, distracting him from what he needs to do. his most recent is entitled 'reasons i like rich'. he's not thinking about why he needs a list for that.&rich gets jake gifts. little presents throughout the days, origami grasshoppers and snapple caps and short notes passed to him in math class. it's one of the things jake loves about him. maybe.&jakes likes bees. they're cool, soft and buzzy, and they help keep him alive. bees are only vaugely relevant to the plotline but they're cool so they've been included in the title.





	gifts & lists & bees

**Author's Note:**

> cw for really mild homophobia and likewise mild references to rich's dad. apologies in advance for the probably numerous tense mistakes- i usually write in present tense but for some reason decided past tense was important for this???

_ reasons i like rich: _

 

  * __his jokes are awful__


  * _he’s self aware_


  * _he’s weird_


  * _he has hair_



 

 

Jake stared down at the list and flipped over his pencil, erasing the last bullet and brushing the pills of eraser dust off the page. 

  1. _his hair is neat_



Chloe peered over his shoulder. “Another list?”

Jake startled- he’d almost forgotten she was over. They’d been working on a project for Social Studies, but she’d disappeared into the bathroom, claiming that there was something about her menstrual cycle, which she’d correctly judged would scare Jack away from the bathroom. She’d been in there for long enough that Jake had put aside his homework. Jake frantically flipped over the page to where he had a rough draft of their essay on Pompeii. 

“Nope,” he said, but it was too late. Chloe propped herself up on the edge of Jake’s desk. 

“You like his hair?”

“No?” Jake shook his head, “Nope, that rooster thing. Absolutely ridiculous. I was just… creating a mock list of what people might like about Rich. In order to set him up with someone.” Because he didn’t like Rich. His lists were just a way to put his thoughts on paper. They didn’t mean anything. And it’s not like it’s weird to like his best friend’s hair. Chloe and Brooke fawned over each other's all the time and no one said anything about it.

Chloe had one eyebrow arched as she slid her phone out of her back pocket. Jake snatched it out of her hands. 

“Chloe,” he hissed, putting her phone out of reach, “what the  _ hell?” _

“Well, I mean,” Chloe shrugged, widening her eyes, which she  _ knew  _ didn’t work on Jake. “Jake Dillinger is gay? This is high-key gossip.”

“I’m not gay,” Jake insisted, teeth gritted. 

“Sure, sweetie. That’s what we all say.”   
Jake scowled at her for a few moments before he caught her mistake. “We?”

“You think I haven’t been called a lesbian before?” Chloe picked at her acrylic nails. “I’m just saying. And I’m okay with it. You and I aren’t dating anymore, you’re free to do you.” Chloe smiled widely at Jake.

Jake slid the paper off the desk and crumpled it with one hand. “Sure. Whatever. But I’m not gay.”

“Uh-hu.” Chloe obviously didn’t believe him, but he didn't care. Everyone knew half the things that came out of her mouth were fabricated, and this was no exception. Jake went back to their homework and Chloe snatched her phone back, tapping at the screen.

 

Chloe left an hour later after doing absolutely no work on their project and making barely-veiled jokes about Jake liking Rich. As soon as she was out the front door, Jake ran back to his room and fell back onto his bed. 

There were too many pillows on it after all his friends bought him throw pillows for his birthday as a joke. Most of them usually ended up on the floor, but Chloe had made his bed for him because she ‘didn’t have anything else to do’. Jake rolled his eyes at the memory. She’d just pretended not to hear him when he’d pointed out that they were there to do homework. Underneath the pillows were a couple layers of quilts and comforters- Jake got cold really easily, especially in the winter, and he’d pilfered all of the extra blankets in the house. 

Rich liked to call him  _ Lizard,  _ citing that lizards have cold blood and need to be always warm. The nickname was kind of annoying, but Rich had shown up at his house with a comforter from the Company Store obscuring his face a few days after coming up with it, mumbling about how he couldn’t have his best friend being cold. It was Jake’s favorite- bright orange, which Brooke and his mom complained about a lot. They both had pretty delicate sensibilities when it came to clashing home decor. 

_ “Why’d you take it out of the case, dude?” Jake had asked, half awed, half bent over laughing at how Rich’s head peeked out over the top of the comforter. _

_ “I had to try it out,” Rich explained, his voice muffled through the feather-stuffed blanket. “I didn’t want anything but the best for you, bro.” _

That night, Jake had started a list entitled,  _ Why The Orange One Is My Favorite Blanket.  _ It was headed with the bullet point,  _ because rich gave it to me,  _ and it was now only one of many Rich-centric lists in his folder. There was a reason he didn’t let his friends look through them. 

Jake uncrumpled the list he’d started while Chloe was in the bathroom and flattened it with one fist. It wasn’t finished, so he hefted himself out of bed and over to his desk, grabbing a pencil. It was one Brooke had gave him, mechanical and light blue with little bumble-bees decorating the sides. He pretended he didn’t like it, because Rich would tease him for years, but it was his favorite. Jake liked bees. 

  1. _he buys me weird shit_



Jake had an entire desk drawer devoted to things Rich gave to him. A lot of them were random, like Snapple caps that he said made him think of Jake, or an origami elephant he’d made in science with their worksheet. Some of it was things that he gave Jake for a reason, like the anniversary card he’d gotten him out of the blue, because it was the 180th wedding anniversary of the man who’d invented the greeting card, or the porcelain kitten he’d given Jake four days after his birthday because he didn’t want Jake’s friends to tease him about it, which was at the very back of the drawer, wrapped in tissue. 

  1. _he th_



Jake’s phone buzzed and he glanced down at it. He still wasn’t entirely sure who renamed Rich’s contact info ‘Boyf’, but it had been a few days after the thing with Michael and Jeremy and the half-shy, half-laughing glances that Brooke kept shooting at Jake’s phone suggested it was probably her. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t changed it back, either.

_ txt from: Boyf!!!!!! _

_ hey are you doing anything? _

_ txt to: Boyf!!!!!! _

_ Not really. I’m working on a list. _

A pebble hit Jake’s window and he glanced up. Another bounced off, making a noise like extremely slow and big raindrops. 

_ txt from: Boyf!!!!!! _

_ hurry up nerd _

Jake buried the paper underneath his math homework in case Rich wanted to come upstairs and ran to the front door, pulling on a sweatshirt and reassuring his older sister that he’d be home at some point. Rich was leaning against the street sign, wearing a Nirvana t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. His hair was messy and Jake wanted to run his hands through it. Rich straightened and loped over to Jake when he saw the door open. 

“Dude!” he said, holding his hand up for a high-five, which Jake obliged, then dropping a red-brown-white-orange agate into his palm, which Jake pocketed, smiling. “I heard Chloe Valentine came over?”

Jake’s smile froze on his face for a second. “Ha! Yeah. We’ve got out Social Studies project together,” he said, recovering.

“ _ Nice.”  _ Rich nodded and started down the sidewalk. Jake followed him, though he wasn’t quite sure where they were going. “She’s hot, dude.”

“Yeah, well. I think she likes Jeremy.” 

Rich’s face flashed through a variety of emotions that Jake couldn’t quite comprehend and he rolled his eyes to himself before responding. “For now. She just hasn’t spent enough time around you. You’re prime boyfriend material. Jeremy ditched  _ his _ ‘boyfriend’ as soon as he stopped being good for him, I doubt Chloe’ll go for that.” Rich’s face twisted at the joke in a way that Jake didn’t really like, something that seemed meaner than the dude who had given Jake a stuffed pangolin a few weeks ago.

Jake laughed in a way he hoped seemed genuine. Rich shouldered Jake playfully.

“She’s not really my type,” Jake said.  _ I think I might be gay,  _ he didn’t say.

“How about Christine, then? She’s  _ totally  _ into you, and she’s cute if you like the whole ‘I’ll talk about Romeo and Juliet for three hours’ thing.”

Jake shrugged. “What about you?”

Rich laughed. “Do  _ I  _ like Christine? I’m not smart enough.” He shook his head. “Wouldn’t be able to keep up.” he kicked at a pebble on the sidewalk and Jake watched it bounce into a gutter.

“C’mon, dude, you’re a genius. You’ve got a 4.0 and you’re like freaking Google.”

Rich frowned at the sidewalk and kicked another pebble. “Yeah.”

This wasn’t right. Jake changed the conversation. “Besides, that’s not what I meant. Any girls caught your eyes?”

Rich cocked his head, staring into space, before grinning too widely. “Ha, no. You know me. Can’t keep me chained down.” He looked like he was going to be sick. Jake opened his mouth to ask if he was okay and Rich grabbed his elbow, yanking him off the sidewalk and toward the playground. “Swing with me?”

Jake used to swing every day at recess in elementary school. He liked how it took him above everyone and closer to the stars. He’d used it as a metaphor for popularity in eighth grade for an English assignment and had gotten an ‘A’. He raced Rich to the swings and they flew higher and higher, kicking their legs. Rich tried to push him off every time they passed each other and Jack laughed. It felt nice. 

“Dude,” Rich said later, laying on the wood chips that carpeted the playground. “I’m staying over, right?” Jake was laying beside him, ignoring the wood chip digging into his shoulder blade because Rich looked so  _ happy. _

He propped himself up on one elbow. “Yeah, sure, dude. Whatever you need.” Jake might not always be the best person, but he wasn’t going to send Rich home to his dad.

Rich pumped a fist and grinned at Jake and Jake ignored the butterflies in his stomach. “I get to sleep with your pink quilt, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s my favorite,” Rich said. “I can’t fucking believe you made it. How do you even make a quilt? That’s some god shit, Jake. Like, you created something with your bare hands.” 

This was Jake’s favorite Rich. He was tired and just let himself talk while Jake listened. It was like whatever was keeping his thoughts in check throughout the day went to sleep and there was just Rich.

“It’s not that cool. There are some really awesome quilts out there.”

Rich waved him off. “Yeah, I know. My grandma quilts. But like.” He stopped, staring up at the sky. Jake followed his gaze. It was mostly dark out- not so dark that he couldn’t see Rich’s face, but the stars were beginning to make an appearance. “Dude,” Rich said, hushed. “The stars are pretty fucking-” he paused, “sparkly.”

Jake chuckled, and Rich glanced at him, looking pleased. “Eloquent,” Jake said.

Rich shook his head, “Man, you know I don’t know what that means.”

Jake just grinned at him.

 

“Dude, you’re  _ gay?”  _ Chad slammed Jake’s locker closed, leaning on it so that Jake would have to talk to him if he had any hopes of getting to his math book before fourth hour. 

Jake sighed. “Nope. Chloe’s just looking for something new to talk about. The boundless gossip of Madeline’s sluttiness must be running dry.” Chad was dumb and homophobic and had the worst aim in Archery Club. He’d shot Rich in the ass three weeks ago. 

Chad laughed- a loud, grating sound, and shoved Jake in the shoulder. “ _ Sure, _ man. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Jake ground his teeth and retrieved his homework before running to his next class. Rich was waiting for him there, heckling the girl in front of him with his feet on Jake’s desk. Jake shoved his feet to the side and apologized to the girl, who rolled her eyes and turned back to the front of the room.

“Jakey-D!” Rich grinned widely at him. “Word on the street is that you’re homo.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “It must say something about you that I slept in the same room and you and didn’t make a move, then.”

“So you’re confirming the rumors?” Rich’s grin was sharp. Jake hated this Rich. He was antagonistic and didn’t know when to stop. 

“No. Fuck off, man.”

“Better ask Christine out,” Rich hissed, leaning closer to Jake, “You know, if you want to stop this whole thing before it goes somewhere you don’t want it to.”

“That’s a dick move, Rich. I’m not going to lie to her to save my reputation.”

Rich shrugged, slipping back into his own seat and throwing an arm over the back. His hair was more orderly today than the night before, but there were still hairs sticking out of his faux-hawk. “Just giving my own two cents.”

 

“Hey, Christine.” Rich had dragged Jake and the girls to the theater program, which Jake thought seemed kinda hypocritical after the whole thing with Jeremy, but then he’d pushed Jake at Christine, something in his expression that Jake hadn’t quite understood, and Jake had gotten the hint.

Christine glanced up, looking perplexed. “Jake Dillinger?”

“Yeah.” Jake nodded. “That’s me. You were in Romeo and Juliet last year, right?” Man, he did  _ not  _ like talking to girls. That’s heterosexual, right? Getting nervous around girls. Yeah.

“Yeah. I was Juliet.” Christine looked pleased. 

“Nice. Title character.” Jake nodded again. Rich shot him a look and mouthed,  _ “stop fucking nodding”.  _ Jake nodded at him. 

“Yeah. It was fun. Juliet isn’t my favorite character, but she’s not awful.” Christine cocked her head and Jake’s brain supplied an image of Rich doing the same thing the night before, looking a lot cuter. Which was maybe kinda gay, but Jake would make a list later. Not now. “Is there a reason you’re talking to me?”

“Yeah, it’s like…” Jake tried to find the words. “When you died in the play, it really struck me. I was thinking, like, it sucks that she died before she got a chance to know everyone that she would’ve liked to, which really is what sucks about death. But you’re not dead, and you seem pretty neat and I’d like to get to know you. Um. Coffee after theater?” Rich shot him a thumbs up and Jake grinned at him.

Christine beamed. “That sounds great!”

“Cool.”

 

Christine was lactose-intolerant, she informed Jake, as she ordered an iced soy caramel latte. Jake nodded and didn’t tell her that Rich was allergic to peanut butter because normal people didn’t bring up their friends more than twice in a given conversation and he’d already told her Rich’s favorite drink. Which Jake had realized was probably weird the second it was out of his mouth, but Christine hadn’t batted an eye. 

Jake ordered his tea and followed Christine to a low table. He sank into one of the armchairs and sighed. Okay, this was cool. He was on a date with a cute girl who was nice and enthusiastic and probably wasn’t going to figure out that he maybe didn’t like girls. Maybe probably didn’t like girls. 

Christine told him about her favorite kind of tree and Jake told her about Rich’s weird rooster hair and Christine told him about Michelangelo's pettiness and Jake told her about how Rich was obsessed with Michelangelo three months and Christine stopped, sighed, took a sip of her coffee, and leaned forward. “Are you in love with Rich?”

Jake paused for a moment to appreciate that she had asked if he was in love with Rich instead of if he was gay, and then he shrugged and took a gulp of tea. “Are  _ you  _ gay?” Jake asked as he put down his mug of tea and glanced discreetly around the coffee shop. He’d like to say that he was secure about both his identity and his place in the school hierarchy, but that’s a blatant lie and he really didn’t want anyone he knows to hear this conversation.

Christine tilted her head to one side. “I don’t know.” she takes another delicate sip of her coffee. “And I couldn’t care less if you are.”

Jake nodded at her, and he can feel a smile spreading across his face. “Neat. You know, I mostly made up that whole thing about Juliet to get you to go on a date with me because otherwise Chad was probably going to beat me up, but you’re pretty neat, Christine. Friends?”

Christine smiled benevolently. “Friends.”

“And can we pretend we’re dating?” Jake hid behind his mug, waiting for her answer.

Christine reached forward and moved the mug out of Jake’s face. “Will that make you more comfortable?”

“Yes,” Jake said automatically. Christine raised an eyebrow and Jake looked down at his hands. He didn’t have the paper to make a list, but he ran through the pros and cons of pretending to date Christine. “Yes,” he repeated. 

“Then yeah.” Christine reached for his hand and he let her take it, smiling down at his mug. 

“Thanks, Christine.”

“Anything for you, Jake.” Christine looked up at him and he smiled down at her and it was different from with Rich, but it was still nice. 

“Hey, Jake,” Christine said, poking at his palm with her thumb. “Would you say that girls… aren’t your cup of tea?”

Jake took back his hand to shove her gently, and she giggled. 

 

“Nice Prince costume, Jakey-D,” Rich said, laying back on Jake’s bed, wrapped in the pink quilt, which, apparently, he really did like. He was flipping through a men's fashion magazine that Chloe had left the last time she’d come over. Jake was not at all affected by the fact that Rich was only half dressed and laying on his bed. He turned to look over himself in the mirror again, but he could still see Rich behind him. 

“Thanks. Put on a shirt.” Jake wrestled one of his sweatshirts of a hanger and threw it at Rich.

Rich stuck his tongue out at Jake and looked dismissively at the sweatshirt, which Jake hadn’t thrown far enough and was sitting on the floor in front of Rich. “Prude.”

“I’m not gay,” Jake said instinctively. 

“Never said you were.” Rich flipped over onto his stomach. “I mean, you’re dating Christine now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Is she like,” Rich waved a hand and Jake rolled his eyes at the mirror. 

“She’s neat.”

“Isn’t she a lesbian?”

Jake frowned and screwed with the ruffled thing at his chest and tugged at the edges of his sleeves before deeming them good enough, and his costume was the last thing on his party to-do list, so he was free to talk with Rich. “Nah. We’ve like, you know. Fucked.” Jake felt a flicker of guilt for lying to Rich but dismissed it. It was a white lie and it was important. “Wait.”

Rich glanced up from an article explaining the importance of a good pair of khakis. The model was pretty hot, and Jake had looked him up. Maler, or something. “Yeah, dude?”

“Why’d you set me up with her if you thought she was a lesbian?”

Rich froze for a second, then looked back at the magazine, trying to play it off like he hadn’t heard, or didn’t care. He did the head tilt thing, which was less adorable when he was being a dick. Jake scowled and leaned against his desk. “Rich?”

Rich shrugged. “I wasn’t sure, and I thought you’d be a cute couple if she wasn’t. And it all worked out, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Jake sighed and ran a hand down his face. “Put on a shirt, douche. Don’t you have a costume?”

Rich shrugged. “I swiped Thomas’s Jason mask. He’s going as something sappy with his girlfriend this year, so he won’t need it.”

“Cool.” Jake glanced at his alarm clock, then out the window. He could see Chloe’s too-expensive car on the side of the road. Chloe and Brooke were probably still in it, putting finishing touches on their makeup or whatever girls do. “Ready?”

“I’m always ready,” Rich said, and he winked and bent down to tug on Jake’s shirt. Jake exhaled heavily. Rich in Jake’s too-big Batman sweatshirt was only marginally better than shirtless Rich. The sleeves came down to his knuckles, and he pawed at the air for a moment, a satisfied grin spreading across his face when the sleeves flopped. Jake stared studiously at everything other than his best friend until Rich had deemed the sweatshirt satisfactory and Jake ushered him out of the room.

 

“Jake!” Christine whispered, red solo cup in hand, on her tiptoes in order to reach Jake’s ear. “Rich is like, wearing your clothes.” She raised her eyebrows and Jake waved her off. 

“He decided that he didn’t need to wear a shirt. I digressed.” 

Christine winced and dragged Jake to a couch- one that wasn’t supposed to be where it was, but he’s okay with it. He thought. She shoved him and he fell back onto it. “Where is he now?”

Jake shrugged and Christine fell down next to him. Her corset- which, yeah. She’s wearing a corset. Apparently, he was supposed to be like, a  _ prince  _ prince? And he felt kind of bad about missing the chance to have an honestly pretty kickass couples costume, but- rode up over her stomach, revealing the elastic band holding up her skirt. Jake poked her and she shrieked, poking him back with the vengeance of a dozen chickadees. No one around them bat an eye, too busy doing whatever they’re doing.

“You should go find him,” Christine said and Jake exhaled, swirling his cup. 

“You’re probably right.” Jake didn’t move, just watched Chloe and Brooke stand together a few feet away, twittering and caressing each others hair. Dammit. Why couldn’t he mess with his friend’s hair? Rich’s hair was a disaster. It’s not weird if he wanted to fix it some of the time. Or all the time. Christine frowned at him for a few moments before shoving him- harder than usual. Jake thought the drink might be making her a bit less accommodating. “Jake Rufus Dillinger,” she started. Jake held up a hand.

“Not my middle name.”

“It is now.” Christine stood up and straightened her corset. “You are going to  _ find  _ Richard Blake Goranski-”

“Not his name either.”

“-and you are going to  _ talk.  _ About your  _ feelings.” _

“I don’t think Rich has feelings,” Jake said and took a drink. 

“I  _ know  _ you’re wrong,” Jeremy Heere said, sidling up to the two of them. Jake bit back a scowl. 

“How much of that conversation did you hear?”

Christine giggled softly.  _ “Heere. Hear.”  _ Jake elbowed her. 

Jeremy shrugged. “Not much. Have you seen Brooke?” Jeremy looked around for a moment- it didn’t take long for him to find her, because she was only a few feet away. Brooke started to wave enthusiastically when she caught sight of Jeremy, and Jeremy high-fived Jake before going to join her. Jake made a face at his back and Christine rolled her eyes. “What do you have against Jeremy?”

Jake doesn’t like the tone of her voice, almost plaintive and fond, but saying that would make him sound like an ass, so he doesn’t. “I don’t know. He’s kinda suspicious? He ditched his friend what’s-his-face. And Rich is acting like they’re best friends all of a sudden.”

“You’re jealous!” Christine deduced, hopping slightly. Her drink sloshed in the cup and Jake took it and put it on a side table.

“No-” Jake stopped. “Perhaps.”

Christine elbowed him. “Perhaps? Nice word there.” She giggled. “Seriously, go find him.” She shoved him again and he threw up his hands. 

“Fine!”

“Farewell!” Christine called after him, giggling. Jake rolled his eyes. 

 

Rich was holed up in Jake’s room, sitting on the floor. Jake’s drawer of things Rich gave him was pulled out of the desk and resting on the floor next to him. A can was sitting on Rich’s other side. Jake stood in the doorway for a moment, not quite sure what was happening. “Uh, Rich?”

Rich’s head shot up. “Jake,” he said cooly, at odds with the panic residing in his eyes. He shook his head softly, like he was trying to get something out of his ear, then sighed heavily. 

“Why’re you up here?” Jake stepped carefully to where Rich was sitting and folded himself down next to him. 

Rich didn’t respond, just held up a scrap of paper. Jake frowned at it. “What’s that?”

“I gave it to you back in May. Thanking you for something.” Rich sounded detached. Jake peered at the letter. Rich had given it to him in their math class after Jake’d paid for his lunch. 

“I bought you lunch.”

“Yeah.” Rich examined the drawer again. “This is all stuff I gave you?” It’s not really a question, but Jake answered it anyway, feeling his neck flush. 

“Yeah. Um. I guess that’s sort of weird, but-”

“Why?” Rich interrupted, dropping the paper back into the drawer. It flutters down, like a feather fallen from a bird mid-flight. 

“Because they mean a lot to me,” Jake said, looking at his hands. “I appreciate that you took the time to think about me. Or whatever,” he adds on hurriedly, noticing the conflicted expression gracing Rich’s face. 

“It’s just junk, dude.” Rich rubbed at his head.

“Do you have a headache? Are you okay?”

“Am I- yes. I’m  _ fine,”  _ Rich said vehemently, “I’ve just got this fucking robot in my head screaming in Japanese.”

Jake stared at him. “Wha-”

The word died on his lips as Rich leaned forward, pressing his mouth against Jake’s. Every single word that he thinks he was ever going to say seemed to die and there was nothing left in his head but a pressing need to be kissing Rich back, so he did. And yeah. He’s maybe-probably-definitely a little gay, but so’s Rich? Maybe? It felt nice, rougher than the kisses he’d had with girls, and he had to bend down a bit to reach Rich’s mouth, but it’s good, it’s really very good, and Rich was giggling when he pulls away, kind of maniacally.

“Fucking hell,” he breathed. “I really wanted to do that, but the SQUIP-” he stopped and looked at Jake, something hardening in his expression. Jake stared at him, wide-eyed. He wasn’t sure what he should be doing, not sure what a SQUIP is or even what really just happened. “We can’t do that again,” Rich stated, looking just as upset about it as Jake felt, but Jake nodded.

“That’s okay.”

Rich blinked. “What?”

“If you’re not…” Jake searched for the right word. This was never his forte, talking about feelings and what’s okay. “If you don’t feel safe or if you don’t want to do anything, that’s okay. I can’t- I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Rich swallowed and stared at the desk drawer before pulling something out. It’s a Snapple cap. “ ‘On average’,” he read, “ ‘A human being will spend two weeks of their life kissing people’.” He cocked his head. It was different than normal, less like he was listening to something and more like he’s pondering. “You kept that?”

Jake’s blush spread to his cheeks. “They’re you.”

“Yeah,” Rich nodded slowly, looking at the drawer and tossing the cap back into it. “That’s really sweet, Jakey-D.” He shook his head. “And you’re really okay?”

“If you are.”

“Yeah.” Rich shook his head. “God. That’s so fucking considerate. I- I- I need Mountain Dew. Red.”

“Mountain Dew’s green,” Jake said, perplexed by the sudden topic change.

“God, yeah. I need the red stuff.” Rich jumped up and stood still for a second, scowling, before running out of Jake’s room like a startled colt. Jake stared after him. 

_ I have no idea what just happened. _

 

Turned out having broken legs and then briefly getting possessed by some weird-ass robot that turned off his pain receptors  _ really sucks.  _ Until last week, Jake would have said that his latest family reunion was the most traumatizing event of his childhood but this totally takes the cake. 

“Jesus Christ, dude, how’d you live with that thing in your head all the time?” He drummed his fingernails on the desk.

Rich was sitting on Jake’s bed again, filing his nails. “It really sucked,” he said simply, “being around you was the only time that it kind of let my be, you know. Me-ee.”

Jake grinned softly at him, remembering half-asleep Rich, where it was like his filter was turned off. 

“It probably figured out that you were hopelessly in love with me and that I couldn’t fuck it up that badly.” Rich tilted his head, looking up and at Jake, and Jake’s heart did a somersault. Metaphorically. 

“Probably,” he agreed. Rich threw the nail file on the floor and walked over to sit criss-cross on top of the desk. “Finished brainstorming date ideas?”

“I made a list,” Jake said, tapping at the paper with his pen. “Christine suggested the theater.”

Rich snorted. “You think I can sit still that long?”

Jake crossed it off. “Brooke said we should get pedicures.” There’s still part of Jake’s brain that wasn’t to immediately dismiss it as ‘too girly’, but he’s trying. And he knew Christine will somehow find out and lecture him, which he doesn’t want.

“Also involves sitting still for long periods of time.” Rich swiped the list and scanned it. “Nope, no, no, what the fuck was Jeremy thinking, no, hmmm… nah. Ooh- no. No, no.” He dropped the notebook paper back on the desk and grabbed a red pen, pausing slightly to examine Jake’s pencils. “Nice bees, dude. Those are cool. Like. Fuzzy insects. Weird. And honey’s pretty neat.” He daintily selected a red pen and slowly crossed off every single date idea. Jake stared at the paper, dismayed, but not exactly surprised.

Rich paused for a second, examining Jake’s expression, then stood up on the desk. “I am going to buy you a bee.”

Jake snorted. “Dude.”

Rich hopped off the desk and Jake winced at the impact. Rich snapped in front of his face. “Okay, maybe not but seriously there’s the bees nest by that playground and the bees are like, super chill. You can pet them. It’s awesome. And then we can go to the farmers market!”

Jake raised his eyebrows. “Which is on the other side of town.”

“You have a car,” Rich stated. Jake shook his head, but grinned and stood up.

“Yeah, I do.”

 

“Okay, you’re right, this is the best fucking honey I’ve ever had.” Jake ignored the glares the middle-aged parents surrounding them were shooting him. “And I didn’t even know honey sticks were a thing.”

“Yeah, they’re totally a thing. The best thing ever.” Rich grins. They’ve made it to the farmers market after a long argument with Jake’s mom.  _ (“Sweetheart, you burnt down the house, can I really trust you with our car?”)  _ There’s a patch of picnic tables next to the old barn the market was in, and Rich monopolized on immediately, sending Jake to buy them something to eat. “I loved them when I was a kid. They’re pure honey but like. Healthy?”

“Not healthy.”

“Natural,” Rich corrected himself. He glances at the small pile of empty plastic sleeves and frowned. “Will you buy more?”

“How does actual food sound?”

“Absolutely disgusting, I’m operating on a honey-only diet now.”

Jake made a face. “I’m buying you a sandwich.”

“I want ham on it!” Rich calls after him. 

He rolled his eyes. “Come with me then,” he said, turning around and stopping in the entrance to the barn. Rich stuck his tongue out at him and ran to catch up.

“Maria has the best sandwiches,” Rich explained, dragging Jake behind him. “Me and mom came here a bunch when I was little, and then I just kept going after she…” he trailed off, scanning the room for the booth he’s looking for. “Anyway. Maria’s terrific.”

He seemed to spot the right table because he made a beeline toward it. Jake had to run in order to not lose him, murmuring apologize as he bumped into people.

“Maria!” Rich exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the folding table. Jake winced. “So good to see you! We’d like one turkey sandwich with no mayo and then my usual.”

The woman behind the table was short- only a inch or so taller than Rich- and he radiated a kind of softened elegance, like she would look as good in overalls as in a ball gown. Jake smiled at her and she winked back. 

“What’s your boyfriend got against mayo?” 

Jake opened his mouth to correct her- because they weren’t dating, really, he didn’t think, and he wanted to say so before Rich did.

“He’s allergic to eggs,” Rich said before Jake could interject. “It’s ridiculous.”

Maria glanced up at Jake, who shrugged helplessly. He stood there for a few minutes as Maria made their sandwiches, Rich bouncing from topic to topic and Maria nodding along. Jake couldn’t quite manage to get over the boyfriend thing.

“Best sandwiches,” Rich reiterated as they wandered back out the doors, waving over his shoulder to Maria. 

“Are we boyfriends?” Jake asked, settling in at the picnic table. Rich perched on top of it and unwrapped his sandwich. 

“I thought we are,” he said thoughtfully, the solemnest Jake had seen him all day. “But if you don’t want to be, I get it. I haven’t exactly been the best person recently.” He bit his lower lip and ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up.

Jake blinked at him. “Are you kidding? You’re the best person I know. You bought me a  _ blanket.  _ It’s my favorite.”

Rich smirked. “I like the pink one best.”

Jake elbowed Rick’s leg. “Dude, I totally want to be your boyfriend.”

Rich beamed at him, then put down his sandwich and dug through his pockets. “I wrote you, um. This thing?” He handed Jake a post-it note with a short list. “Chloe told me you made a list about me. When I was squipped.” He rubbed at his eyes. “And I wasn’t sure what to give you and Michael was like: write him a poem, but I’m not exactly…” he pauses. “Eloquent. And lists work for you, right? To calm down and to stop everything from racqueting around in your head?”

Jake glances up from the list and at Rich, who’s staring at Jake, head tilted. “Yeah, that’s… exactly why I do it.”

Rich nodded. “And like, since I ditched my SQUIP, my brain’s been really fucking loud. I guess it was helping mute it or something? So I tried a list.” he nodded at the post-it note. “I don’t think it’s really for me because getting my thoughts into words is kinda hard, but I wanted to share this one with you.”

Jake looked back down at the post-it note.

_ reasons i like jake: _

 

  * __he’s tall__


  * _best hugs_


  * _he kept all the stuff i gave him_


  * _nicest person ever_


  * _i can’t put this into words but like. he’s just jake._



 

Rich was blushing when Jake looked back up, swinging his legs and not looking at him. Jake clambered up to sit next to him. “Rich?”

Rich glanced up at him. “Yeah?”

Jake held Rich’s cheek with one hand. “Is this okay?”

Rich glanced down at Jake’s mouth and bit his lip. “Yeah, this is good.”

Their lips collided and it was messier than on Halloween- de-squipped Rich wasn’t as good a kisser- but it’s nicer and brighter and softer and more like Rich and Jake and less like two people who’re aren’t quite lost and in the same room at the same time. Rich pulled away after a few seconds, staring at Jake. 

“Yeah, that’s a lot better without the screaming in Japanese,” he mumbled to himself, and Jake ran his hands through Rich’s hair, fixing his faux-hawk and marveling in the fact that he’s allowed to do that now.

“It’s a lot better with you,” He responded finally, and Rich beamed at him. 

**Author's Note:**

> after this rich picked jake up and carried him back into where maria was to introduce him properly as his boyfriend and maria just kinda beamed at how cute they were and how much rich has grown up since she met him. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments make my day. :D
> 
> (and yes the khaki model is bobby maler from spring awakening)


End file.
